I spend majority of my time avoiding people and feelings.. especially people who give me feelings
I’ve been numb for years, being “too busy” to go on dates, probably overly cautious but careful enough to not make more mistakes
I’ve witnessed multiple heartbreaks and I knew I couldn’t do it, to put my heart back on the line where my emotions are the purest ?
I hate crying, it reminds me of my past
There was a time when I cried way more than I smiled or laughed..
There was a time when I didn’t see a light, no reason to be on this earth, there was a time when I looked in the mirror and I couldn’t see my worth..
Life went on and everyone around me was fine, I was still alive but I was slowly dying inside, I probably asked God a billion times “why?”
I never got an direct answer but I eventually wiped my tears & continued to hold my head high