It hurt so much. The pain was unbearable, unbreakable, unshakable. My body trembled as I let salty tears flow down my cheeks and onto my pillow. My pillow was soaked in misery. My chest burned for months, my heart ached and ached. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep.. barely could I think. My mind was blank, I was on auto pilot. Everything reminded me of you..music, colors, scents, places where we fucked. We fucked everywhere, so everywhere reminded me of you. We were young, dumb, reckless and immature but my soul was tied with yours.. I was so sure. My first everything, I just knew you loved me. I thought you’d be my last. Life has a strange way of switching things up so fast. Skipping classes, going shopping, drinking to numb my feelings. My friends never understood why I stayed. I felt alone, wanted to take my own life. But even through the pain, my heart remained the same. I wanted answers, I needed to understand. I fucked up but so did you. You told me things about myself I knew wasn’t true. I felt the distance, the attention was drifting. How could someone love me but never take the time to listen? I needed reassurance. You couldn’t give me that. I was damaged beyond repair. You can’t make your girl feel regular out here. Shit just wasn’t fair.